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Use
your brains here people. We wrestle. Not Olympic lycra wrestling, but imitating pro-wrestling WWE style (or WWF as it used
to be known). Obviously it's not as good, we're not pros, we don't have a ring and we don't like landing on our heads on tumbling
mats laid on a wooden floor, although it happens now and then. We don't own a billion dollar company and thus don't have 10
ft high speakers, football pitch size video screens, explosions and fireworks, special effects and 100 ft high scaffold
"Titantrons" to make our entrances. We have a camcorder, hi-fi plugged into guitar amp music system, and we walk out from
behind walls or table tennis tables to enter the arena. But we have fun and that's what counts. We record it so that we can
watch it back and laugh and so that we can start story-lines to make it seem to have a point to it.
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Why did we start?
Last summer, after filming our random tape
of stuff, called "The Tape of *****" (I'm not going to give away the great name for you people to steal) we had a big, old
camera on our hands that had been leant to us by a mate. Then we got bored, went into the back garden and decided
to mess about. Matt was filming and commentating and made up the names Murorga Sim Bowa (Ed) and Ho Ching How (Will) on
the spot and we play-fought. After that we enjoyed it so much that we decided to make an small roster of wrestlers to use
in our play-fights. Ho Ching How was changed eventually to Ho Chi Minh and others were created including MC Pain (Ed-we had
to be as cheesy as possible), Goat Boy (Will and ditto on the cheese), and The Escaped Convict (Matt- again cheesiness personified)
as well as the Commissioner (Matt). Other wrestlers we invented included Reverend Destruction (Matt), Nemesis (Ed),
Charles Montgomery Halliwell (Elliott) etc, but they all wore out pretty quickly. The little federation grew and grew
until we were swamped in clothes and music and jumped out of the lounge into the garden with music blaring for our entrance.
As winter came it got wet and nasty so we moved to the old gym and used thin blue tumbling mats as our ring and an area
at the bottom for our entrance. Come xmas, Ed got a camcorder and then came the freedom of movement for the old camera
had to be plugged in at the mains. More characters were invented including Whiter T (Ed), Eternal Darkness (Matt- we
stole the name from Nintendo) and Nelson FlashHeart (Will). As time passed, our inventive and performing skills got better.
As with everything, the more you do it, the better you get and now, we're getting pretty good at pretending to beat each other
up........put it this way, if you didn't know it was fake and impossible, you might just believe it was real.........hmmmm.........or
not. Now we've got even more characters to give us a way of having lots of matches without having the same old characters
over and over again, so we never get tired of it and it's gonna keep growing until we get banned from the gym and have to
stop or go elsewhere, back to the yard....who knows.
Opinions:
Ed: It's tiring, it hurts a bit now and then, you can't help but feel stupid yelling "Who's the man now?" at a non-existing
crowd, but it keeps us happy and is good exercise. Believe me, fake or real, lifting another guy above your head, even if
he is 2 years younger than you is knackering work so it keeps me fit it guess. It's always funny at the time, stupid
things are always happening and somtimes it all breaks down into hysterics and you can hear whoever is filming trying to save
the situation by saving "Uh....it looks like the Murorga is...uh......really tired and....uh.....struggling for breath...uh.....yeah....from
that...uh........well he's getting up and...oh....no, still needs more oxygen, he must be on his last legs". Will is crazy,
you can hardly see the guy somtimes, he rolls all over the floor and before you see him he's tripped you up and you look dumb.
Matt's so funny, his commentary has us dying of laughter and he keeps us amused in the "ring" too. He's not as quick as Will
but makes up for it by smacking you as hard as he can in the stomach on regular occasions and if I jump a bit he can lift
me high enough to do some impressive stuff.
Will: It keeps
us amused. That has to be the best way to describe the BWF. We don't do the whole "extreme" thing for the simple
reason that we're not stupid. I mean, you can still do impressive stuff without causing yourself serious injury.
In my opinion, seeing someone do a tilt-a-whirl arm drag is more impressive than seeing them put thumb tacks in their
face. Ed is just about the easiest person to wrestle: half of the time in matches, I just relax for a while while Ed
swings me about his head and slams me across his knee. Matt does a lot of striking and powerful ground moves.
He can use his low centre of gravity to change the pace of a match to keep the interest up.
Matt:
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